Catch up! Day 77 (Tuesday 12th May)

Well, I know I've been really crap at keeping the blog up to date over the past few weeks, didn't realise it's almost 3 weeks since I last posted though!! I've had a busy few weeks as you've probably already guessed, both at work (where I'm snowed under at the mo!) and wedding stuff, plus being away at the weekends - none of which has helped as I've not had much time to get on to the computer! I have been managing to read most people's blogs (sorry for the lack of comments but I've been snatching a few mins here & there!) but just haven't had a chance to post here - and the longer I left it, the more stuff I had to write, & the more I put it off until I had time!!

Anyway, the main news is about the diet - back on the 25th I decided to try seeing if the whole going one week to the full session & one week to riding would work. This was the first full session I went along to - the LLC was good and the people in the group seemed nice, but we had another 3 people join who were all coming back to LL after a break & after having put weight back on. It seems it's an open session for 're-starters' which is what she's had to group us in with, not ideal!

The weighing, measuring & sorting out of foodpacks took well over an hour again, meaning we had about 20 mins left for counselling, and she went back over some stuff from week 4 which we'd already covered. She was much better than the previous LLC & it was informative, but I couldn't help wishing she'd picked a week we hadn't covered yet!

I also found out that LL don't have a record of any of us from our original group, which means we had to to fill in all the forms again and also would need to get another medical check - more hassle. To top it all off, it turned out that the new LLC was going on holiday for 2 weeks. That wasn't an issue in itself, however it did mean that with the locum things would be a bit unsettled, and the week she gets back, I'm then not able to go for two weeks. That will effectively leave me just 1 week (the original week 14) before I'd want to go to management anyhow.

So all in all, not a good day. I left feeling really down about the whole thing, and couldn't help thinking that without the counselling, was I really getting my money's worth from sticking with LL? I couldn't help but feel disappointed with the whole thing , just when I thought things were back on track...

Anyway, I had enough food packs to last another 2 weeks, so decided to continue at home & think things over. I also talked things over with h2b who was really supportive. I looked at other options, such as moving to CD or moving to Atkins, and in the end decided to move over to CD as I think the abstinence / food packs have worked really well (and to be honest the thought of having to cook for myself at this stage is a little scary!!).

So, last Wednesday I went & saw my local CDC - she was lovely & very supportive. She was happy to move me over there & then onto CD (& she was complimentary of the LL counselling & process), so after filling in all the forms & being weighed & measured (yay I'm into the 12 stone now (just!!)) she sorted out my packs. She's given me some of everything (except for the Butterscotch which is apparently just like the caramel, & the Thai chili equivalent, neither of which I'm overly fond of).

I was really surprised by the amount of choice - for the sweet flavours there are: Vanilla, Cappuccino, Chocolate, Choc Mint, Toffee & Walnut, Strawberry, Banana, Fruits of the Forest & Butterscotch. For the savoury there are: Chicken & Mushroom, Mushroom, Vegetable, Oriental Chili, Broccoli & Cheese and Spicy Tomato. For the bars there are: Orange, Chocolate, Malt Toffee, Caramel, plus 2 chewy ones: Peanut and Cranberry. The bars are all covered in milk chocolate (except the orange which is dark choc).

I took 2 weeks supply as I can't go to see her this week (out at a Meatloaf concert!). I have to say, the packs & bars are a damn sight better tasting than the LL ones! I'm not sure if it' was just the joy of having so much choice after 10 weeks on LL, but I'm really enjoying it!

I also explained about the wedding looming up on me (arg, it's only 5 1/2 weeks away now!!) & she was great about it, she says I'll do the first 2 weeks on Sole Source (i.e. just the packs) then she'll start moving me up the stages so that I'll be able to eat most food groups by the wedding :-) She actually said before I even mentioned the wedding that I wouldn't have to be on SS for too many weeks, which made me feel good too - there is light at the end of the tunnel! She also said I can start to introduce some protein for a few nights before next Wednesday's session, in preparation for moving up a step.

So that's pretty much all in terms of where the diet now is - I stayed on packs the whole time through the change to CD, though I confess I did have a bit of a slip over the weekend, bizarrely not on food so much, but on wine. I know I shouldn't have, but we were still trying to sort out the wines for the wedding and were getting increasingly fed up with the whole thing (plus we're really needing to order them!). So on Saturday we went out & got a couple of bottles to test, and I had a few glasses of wine, plus a small bit of chicken & some spinach.

Felt really guilty about it next day, but it was wet, rainy & miserable so I had another glass that evening (though just one this time). I was also feeling down as I don't seem to have lost much this week (even before Sat night!). I have had trouble drinking all my water though & have been really bad at it since Thursday, so maybe that's why? Anyway, have dusted myself off now, am not going to feel guilty about it any more & am going to make a good push for the last few weeks on the run up to the wedding.

I've also been a bit crap on the whole exercise thing - after making the effort to get my bike out of the loft & fixed, it's been raining so I've not made the effort to go out on it, then I had a sore throat & cough / cold last week so used that as an excuse! Anyway, woke up this morning feeling much better, much less tired & much more positive about everything. Did my 1/2 hour on the treadmill and the LL exercises, and even managed to nip out for 20 mins on the bike at lunchtime!

Ok, sorry about the length of the post - was going to include some of the other bits that have been happening over the past few weeks, but think I'll leave that till tomorrow now!! Right, off to make some jewellery for the bridesmaids, can't believe it's 8pm already!

Night x