Tuesday 22nd May - post Hen night!! (Day 84!)

Busy week again so not had much time. Have been running around ordering bits & pieces for the wedding & trying to sort out table plans, favours, gifts etc around a hectic week at work! We went to see Meatloaf on Weds night at the NEC - we've seen him before & have to say it really wasn't one of his better performances, which was a bit of a shame. Still, was still good to see, he is such a showman (even if his vocals were a bit under par this time!).

One good thing that came out of it though was we saw a flier for upcoming events so have bought tickets to see Bill Bailey in November! We've both wanted to see him for quite some time so am really looking forward to it - we've been saying for ages we really ought to go & see more shows, theatre & comedy as we're so close to Birmingham at the moment - with plans for h2b to get a new job, who knows where we'll end up, so lets make the most of it whilst we still can!!

I had my hen night at the weekend - what a fantastic time! We had a bridesmaid dress fitting Saturday morning, which was fantastic, the girls all looked fab! There's a few alterations to be done but all should be finished by next weekend. Was also a relief to see the dresses in the colour we picked (it's a dark purple, but not bright like the cadbury's purple everyone thinks of when you say purple!) - here's a pic of Laura wearing hers (though the colour isn't very clear!)

The rest of the day was fantastic too - had lunch with everyone, then went karting in the afternoon. We had to rope a few of the boys in to make sure we had enough to do the endurance race (where you race in teams rather than individually) - was loads of fun. We picked partners randomly and somehow the two most competitive guys ended up on the same team (no surprise who won then!!). There was also a bit of a surprise as they have a special pink go-kart for the hen, which they made me drive!!

I ended up with my mother on my team & was very funny - we didn't get a medal but we did get the wooden spoon award for most crashes!!

After that we all piled round to my friends house to get ready, before heading over to another friend's house who was hosting the dinner - got a 'taxi' there which turned out to be a limo! Here's a pic of me ready to leave & in the limo, then all of us outside the limo once we'd arrived!

It was a fab evening - they had slaved away all Friday & most of Saturday to create a fantastic meal that lasted most of the night. They'd also really thought about my diet (I'd said before LL that the hen night would be an exception as I didn't want them to worry about it!) - anyway, they'd planned an Italian feast, so lots of cold meats, salads, olives etc for starters, a very small pasta dish, then chicken & veal for the main course & not very many carbs in anything! I really enjoyed it actually & although I did eat, didn't go silly & stopped when I felt full too - I was quite impressed with myself!!

I also had a few drinks but it really was only a couple of glasses - I had a fantastic evening, and didn't consciously make a decision to restrict my drinking, I just did it automatically! Oh how I've changed!! I did have a small bit of the desserts but hey, and I enjoyed it but it was enough!

The next morning we looked at everyone's photos & have to say I was really pleasantly surprised! I've hated having my photo taken for so long, & try to avoid being in front of the camera as much as possible. I don't' think I've seen a photo of me since I started the diet, so was really shocked at the change when I saw the photos! I'm just amazed, and it really is proof that the diet is working!

I was really pleased with the outfit too - had popped to Next in the week as I really didn't have anything to wear - it was fab shopping! The skirt I love - the whole outfit is a size 14 (which was a shock in itself!) and the best bit is the skirt is already loose! Grin!

Back on track with CD now, was worried I would struggle & there was an 'oh do I really have to' moment yesterday morning, but gritted my teeth and got through it, so am back on track again. According to my scales I've put on .2 of an lb so am really happy about that too, and now have the focus for the next 4 weeks! My CDC is moving me up to 790 this Wednesday too - that will be weird re-introducing a little bit of protein & greens every day!

Anyway, enough waffle for one day, hope everyone had a great weekend - gonna try to catch up with the blogs in a bit...

Catch up! Day 77 (Tuesday 12th May)

Well, I know I've been really crap at keeping the blog up to date over the past few weeks, didn't realise it's almost 3 weeks since I last posted though!! I've had a busy few weeks as you've probably already guessed, both at work (where I'm snowed under at the mo!) and wedding stuff, plus being away at the weekends - none of which has helped as I've not had much time to get on to the computer! I have been managing to read most people's blogs (sorry for the lack of comments but I've been snatching a few mins here & there!) but just haven't had a chance to post here - and the longer I left it, the more stuff I had to write, & the more I put it off until I had time!!

Anyway, the main news is about the diet - back on the 25th I decided to try seeing if the whole going one week to the full session & one week to riding would work. This was the first full session I went along to - the LLC was good and the people in the group seemed nice, but we had another 3 people join who were all coming back to LL after a break & after having put weight back on. It seems it's an open session for 're-starters' which is what she's had to group us in with, not ideal!

The weighing, measuring & sorting out of foodpacks took well over an hour again, meaning we had about 20 mins left for counselling, and she went back over some stuff from week 4 which we'd already covered. She was much better than the previous LLC & it was informative, but I couldn't help wishing she'd picked a week we hadn't covered yet!

I also found out that LL don't have a record of any of us from our original group, which means we had to to fill in all the forms again and also would need to get another medical check - more hassle. To top it all off, it turned out that the new LLC was going on holiday for 2 weeks. That wasn't an issue in itself, however it did mean that with the locum things would be a bit unsettled, and the week she gets back, I'm then not able to go for two weeks. That will effectively leave me just 1 week (the original week 14) before I'd want to go to management anyhow.

So all in all, not a good day. I left feeling really down about the whole thing, and couldn't help thinking that without the counselling, was I really getting my money's worth from sticking with LL? I couldn't help but feel disappointed with the whole thing , just when I thought things were back on track...

Anyway, I had enough food packs to last another 2 weeks, so decided to continue at home & think things over. I also talked things over with h2b who was really supportive. I looked at other options, such as moving to CD or moving to Atkins, and in the end decided to move over to CD as I think the abstinence / food packs have worked really well (and to be honest the thought of having to cook for myself at this stage is a little scary!!).

So, last Wednesday I went & saw my local CDC - she was lovely & very supportive. She was happy to move me over there & then onto CD (& she was complimentary of the LL counselling & process), so after filling in all the forms & being weighed & measured (yay I'm into the 12 stone now (just!!)) she sorted out my packs. She's given me some of everything (except for the Butterscotch which is apparently just like the caramel, & the Thai chili equivalent, neither of which I'm overly fond of).

I was really surprised by the amount of choice - for the sweet flavours there are: Vanilla, Cappuccino, Chocolate, Choc Mint, Toffee & Walnut, Strawberry, Banana, Fruits of the Forest & Butterscotch. For the savoury there are: Chicken & Mushroom, Mushroom, Vegetable, Oriental Chili, Broccoli & Cheese and Spicy Tomato. For the bars there are: Orange, Chocolate, Malt Toffee, Caramel, plus 2 chewy ones: Peanut and Cranberry. The bars are all covered in milk chocolate (except the orange which is dark choc).

I took 2 weeks supply as I can't go to see her this week (out at a Meatloaf concert!). I have to say, the packs & bars are a damn sight better tasting than the LL ones! I'm not sure if it' was just the joy of having so much choice after 10 weeks on LL, but I'm really enjoying it!

I also explained about the wedding looming up on me (arg, it's only 5 1/2 weeks away now!!) & she was great about it, she says I'll do the first 2 weeks on Sole Source (i.e. just the packs) then she'll start moving me up the stages so that I'll be able to eat most food groups by the wedding :-) She actually said before I even mentioned the wedding that I wouldn't have to be on SS for too many weeks, which made me feel good too - there is light at the end of the tunnel! She also said I can start to introduce some protein for a few nights before next Wednesday's session, in preparation for moving up a step.

So that's pretty much all in terms of where the diet now is - I stayed on packs the whole time through the change to CD, though I confess I did have a bit of a slip over the weekend, bizarrely not on food so much, but on wine. I know I shouldn't have, but we were still trying to sort out the wines for the wedding and were getting increasingly fed up with the whole thing (plus we're really needing to order them!). So on Saturday we went out & got a couple of bottles to test, and I had a few glasses of wine, plus a small bit of chicken & some spinach.

Felt really guilty about it next day, but it was wet, rainy & miserable so I had another glass that evening (though just one this time). I was also feeling down as I don't seem to have lost much this week (even before Sat night!). I have had trouble drinking all my water though & have been really bad at it since Thursday, so maybe that's why? Anyway, have dusted myself off now, am not going to feel guilty about it any more & am going to make a good push for the last few weeks on the run up to the wedding.

I've also been a bit crap on the whole exercise thing - after making the effort to get my bike out of the loft & fixed, it's been raining so I've not made the effort to go out on it, then I had a sore throat & cough / cold last week so used that as an excuse! Anyway, woke up this morning feeling much better, much less tired & much more positive about everything. Did my 1/2 hour on the treadmill and the LL exercises, and even managed to nip out for 20 mins on the bike at lunchtime!

Ok, sorry about the length of the post - was going to include some of the other bits that have been happening over the past few weeks, but think I'll leave that till tomorrow now!! Right, off to make some jewellery for the bridesmaids, can't believe it's 8pm already!

Night x

Day 56 - Tuesday in Edinburgh

Needed to be up at 4.30am to catch the flight to Edinburgh for today's meeting, but ended up not getting to sleep till gone midnight, then woke up at 3.45 & couldn't get back to sleep, so got up then instead. Had a raspberry shake before leaving the house & took with me a nut bar and a mushroom soup, though doubted very much I'd be able to have the soup!

Flight up was fine, landed just after 8am & went & grabbed a decaf coffee in Costa. Laura & her boss landed about 20 mins after me & came & joined me for a coffee before heading off to their meeting - was a bit weird seeing her at the airport for coffee! Tried to get onto the wifi & couldn't get a strong enough signal (even though the websites proclaimed wifi access even in arrivals!) - moved around the terminal a few times & even went upstairs to the departures bit before security but still no luck, which was a pain as there was a tonne of work I could have been getting on with if I had access. S

till, had a load of notes to read through & write up, and actually by the time Laura & her boss left at 9 there was only 3 1/2 hours to kill before my colleagues arrived. Drank plenty of water during the day too & had a nibble of the nut bar at 12 before they landed. They grabbed some lunch before heading to the customer - looked really good but I wasn't at all tempted & sat drinking my black coffee & catching up with news!

Meeting was a bit disappointing actually, & to top it all off the taxi taking us back to the airport was really late, and the guys were catching the 17.25 back to Heathrow. Luckily they'd already checked in but one still had to print his boarding card & we finally got back to the airport at 16:45! I told them to run for it whilst sorting the taxi out (my flight wasn't till 18:25 & I was already checked in / had a boarding pass, so I wasn't in a hurry.

Got out of the cab & bumped straight into Laura & her boss, which was cool, so we went and sat upstairs for a bit. Her boss had to go check something with the airline so had a good natter with Laura & ate the rest of my bar before we all headed through security, which took an absolute age! Hope the guys catching the earlier flight made it through ok, but I didn't see them in the departure lounge so hoping they did.

My flight ended up being delayed & finally took off around 7.45, so I didn't get back home until about 9.30 by which point I was absolutely knackered. It was really hard hanging around at the airport for those last few hours as everyone around me seemed to be eating and there was a fab smell coming from one of the catering outlets. However just sat there sipping my water & persevered, and when I got home had a mushroom soup & a hot chocolate, and felt very proud of myself for sticking with it!

Monday (Day 55 / 45 to go...)

H2b got away ok at about 5am (ouch!) - I slept for a bit longer but finally got up around 6.30 & pottered around. Finally managed to get the bike out of the garage last night but needs the tyres pumping up & h2b had left the pump at work. Really should have my own so decided to pop to the shops at lunchtime & pick a cheap one up, that way I can try to get out on the bike this week, which must be a good thing.

Work was busy again - am off to Edinburgh for a meeting tomorrow which isn't helping as there's a lot to prepare for that as well. The flights are a bit of a nightmare, my meeting is 2-4pm but the only flights I could get (at a reasonable cost, anyhow) were the 6.25pm back which is ok, but the 7am out! This means having to hang around at Edinburgh airport for about 4 hours until my colleagues arrive! Checked the airport website though & they do have wifi access points around the airport, including in arrivals, so this means I can get some work done whilst waiting for them to arrive. If that doesn't work I have a load of notes to read through & write up, so it wouldn't be the end of the world!

Popped out at lunch & managed to get a pump, plus a few bits of ribbon to make the fascinator for h2b's Nana, but didn't get a chance to do anything with either! Didn't finish work til 8pm, took a half hour to make & eat my mushroom poppadoms then had to get everything ready for the morning, dive through the shower & sort my suits out. Tried on my 2 best suits & horror of horrors, they're both way too loose. Luckily they're skirts rather than trousers, so I can just get away with one of them but the jacket looks enormous on me! Will get away with it for tomorrow, but will definitely need to sort something else out for the trip to Paris in a couple of weeks!

Sunday (Day 54)

Got up & had a raspberry shake before driving down to Blandford Forum to see the lady who's made the wedding cakes for us. She's an old friend of h2b's mother's - he hadn't seen her for about 12 years & I've never met her before so was a bit daunting!

All turned out very well, she's fab & it was great to meet her. H2B had warned her that I was on a diet so wouldn't be eating, and one of the first things she asked me was whether it was LL! Turns out that a lady in her office has just come through it & lost 4 st in 4 months, so was great not having to explain everything to her. She sounded genuinely interested in what I was doing, and made the staying for lunch much easier to cope with! Think I've been really lucky with our weekends away from home, what with h2b's mother having done CD too! Does help when the people you're with understand what you're doing!

After lunch we popped out to see her horses (one has just had a foal, 2 weeks old now & very cute!) Took a load of photo's, will load one on here but h2b has taken the camera to Ireland with him this week so will have to wait till he gets back! Looked at the cakes - they look absolutely fantastic (& huge!), she's been feeding them whiskey too! Will hand them over to my mother next weekend so that she can get them white-iced ready to go down to h2b's Nana to do the decoration. This is going to be one well-travelled cake by the end of it!!

Didn't get home till 8pm & we were both knackered - had a pack then went to bed as h2b has a very early start in the morning - he's off to Cork this week with work & needs to go into the office before he heads off!

Saturday (Day 53)

Had a bit of a treat for getting to my 2 stone lost this morning - a lovely facial at Clarins which was really relaxing! Better be careful or at this rate I'll end up turning into a girly-girl!Still, it's only until the wedding, which is 9 weeks today, & that means just 2 more sessions to go.

Headed down to Chepstow after lunch & got swamped by the kids the moment we arrived! They'd been to Euro Disney for Easter & were so excited about the whole thing, so were telling us all about it. Talked to h2b's stepmother, Fiona, about the dress & had a look at the material in daylight with her (& well out of the way of the boys who we left watching the rugby) - still felt it was a bit too creamy an ivory for me.

Fiona said she thought it was fine but I'm still not convinced, and when we tried it with my crystal bits for my hair, didn't match at all, so have decided to order the pale ivory instead & sell the ivory material on eBay. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just not quite right for me, which is a shame. Still, it's going to be the most important dress I'll ever wear & I want to get it right, and the material itself didn't cost a fortune. If I can get something for it on eBay that'll be good.

We also got out the 2nd mock-up bodice she'd made for me back in Feb, and it was far too big (yay!). I'm going to send her my stats this Wednesday when I measure myself, and also my cm rate of loss, so we can work out roughly where I'll be at the start of June. Fortunately I'm opting for a corset type back which means the fit doesn't have to be as accurate as a zip back. She's going to make it as a size 14 which should hopefully be fine, but we'll be able to adjust it if needed.

Also looked at the design of the dress we'd decided on, and though originally I'd liked the bodices with a bit of rouching at the front, we decided a boned bodice would suit me better. This time, however, she said that with all the weight I'd lost, the rouching would look really good, and that there's still time to change the design if I want to! So, we've decided to alter it slightly, it'll still be in satin but with a chiffon overlay that will be slightly rouched. Am so excited, it's exactly what I was after & we can try it - if it doesn't work we can still fall back to the satin bodice design!

Had a good evening as we went down the pub with h2b's dad & also JJ (friend of the family who's going to be doing the photography at the wedding) - was lovely to see him & he's so excited about taking the photo's! Talked through the type of photo's we were looking for & how it'd work on the day. The original pub we'd gone to ran out of beer (!!!) after the first pint (& they only had some generic smooth beer on tap left) so I ferried them all to the next pub which turned out to have 5 draught beers on tap so they were all very happy & wanted to work their way through the lot. Finally pulled them away about 8pm so we could go back & have dinner (plus there was only so many fizzy waters I wanted!)...

Was a good evening though, and although I had to sit next to them munching through peanuts & crisps when they weren't drinking their beer (oh and the smell! cheese & onion crisps, mmmmmmm) wasn't actually bothered by just having my water. See, things are progressing! I've now worked out that yes it actually is possible for me to go to a pub and not have a drink! ;-)

Oh, also forgot to say that the Tablet I made yesterday morning worked!! So pleased about it, but do have to confess I did nibble a really small piece whilst I was putting it away, which was so silly, but I really wanted to see if it was ok (I know I know, I'm just so stupid sometimes, but on the bright side I was able to stop at just that one small piece, which I suppose is something at least). Took it to Chepstow with us for an outside verdict and they all loved it, Stu's dad said it was as good as his grandmother's (not convinced myself, but the flattery was nice!).

Friday, Day 52 (48 to go)...

Was up nice and early this morning (still aching but better than it was yesterday!) & had made a batch of tablet before 8am! Put much less water in & it seems to have worked, it thickened up much better during the cooking process, and it was very nearly too thick to pour when I put it in the tin, so hopefully this will be better. If this doesn't work, think I'm going to look for somewhere to buy it online, but would be nice if we could do it ourselves!

Have left it to set now & popped upstairs to update the blog before I start work... will try to post back later & also catch up on everyone else's blogs if I get a chance!